This is going to be a very weird christmas. It's the first christmas after my brother's death and it's the first christmas without my brother-in-law in over 20 years and it might be the last christmas with my grandma. I hope not on the last one, unless that's what's best for her, since she's in a lot of pain and has been for many years. She's 92.

Christmas is usually an all day thing at my mom's. It starts out with grandma reading the christmas story from the bible and then we all take turns opening presents and it can take 3 - 4 hours. We have a huge lunch and usually watch a video together, mostly someone's present that year. This year, the nieces have to cram in two christmas's with their parents and another with us in the same day. So probably only 3 - 4 hours for lunch and presents total. They will start at their mom's christmas morning, then at my mom's for lunch and presents and then to their dad's in the evening.

The present opening should go much faster since two people won't be there and everyone got fairly large gifts this year instead of a lot of little ones.

Yesterday my parents found out my dad's half-sister died. She was somewhere in her 80's, he was close to her. Just another part of this crappy year. My dad just keeps saying he wishes this year was over.

They picked up the death certificates for my brother and instead of the heart-attack they originally told them he died from they wrote ethanol abuse as cause of death. That really hurt my dad. He's never admitted my brother had an alcohol problem.

My mom just called and they just got home with grandma, so I'm going over there to play cards tonight. That should be fun. We've always been a big game playing family at all our get togethers. I have all the presents ready to go, so will take them with me tonight and put them in the right spots in mom's living room.

I finished reading the library book Bad Blood by John Sandford. Mystery - excellent.