Thanks for the well wishes everyone.

My mom called last night and asked if I was ok. I was a little surprised and said "yes, why wouldn't I be?" She said sometimes bad news hits people hard later. I will admit I had a few catch your breath moments when I went to bed, but they were short. I guess I come accross as very calm and accepting and I am - mostly. I've had almost a month to think about the fact that I might have cancer and while I hoped the whole time it wasn't so, I knew it probably was.

I could react in several ways to the news. I could just ignore it and hope the cancer goes away on it's own. But most likely it will just get worse and probably spread to other organs.

I could fret and worry over the situation. What if they take the wrong kidney in the operation? What if something else goes wrong in the operation, like the last time? What if I have kidney problems in the future? This is one of my biggest worries. Since I have diabetes. Right now the dr said my kidney function is perfect, better than his. So if I control my diabetes I shouldn't have to worry. However, if I have another kidney stone, I have to get to a hospital immediately since I will be in kidney failure.

I could become depressed and cry about it. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? This isn't fair.

Instead I realize that this is something where I have no control. And since I have no control, then I am going to do what the dr's suggest and assume everything will turn out fine. I just have to get through the process and then I'll be healthy again and can get on with my life. I'll try not to worry about it and have a positive attitude - like going to the dentist - I don't like it, I wish it was different but I have to do it. I'm not going to drive myself nuts with worrying and fretting. I'm grateful it's not worse.

I got my townhome insurance bill yesterday. It went up $22+ over 16%. That's a big increase. I don't know how the government justifies there inflation numbers. They say there is virtually no inflation or only 2 - 3% and yet most of my bills go up 5 - 15%. Plus the cost of food, gas and other items goes up regularly also.

I finished reading my book Lion's Heat by Lora Leigh. Paranormal - very good.