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my grandma died

April 3rd, 2011 at 01:21 pm

She was 92. She was on the phone talking to my aunt. She had been sick all night. All the sudden my aunt couldn't hear her anymore. She called another aunt and she went over and found her.

I want to feel sad about this, but I can't feel as sad as I should. Not that I'm happy about it, but she has been in so much pain for years. She has wanted to die since my grandfather died more than 4 years ago. I've got mixed emotions, but I think the primary one is happy that her ordeal is over. Very sad for my mom, she was very close to my grandma.

My parents were on their way to Kansas to buy a new car when she heard. They decided to go on since they were already halfway there. I never know what to say, sorry seems so useless.

I finished reading my book Pale Gray for Guilt by John D. MacDonald. Mystery - very good.

20 Responses to “my grandma died”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    I am sorry for your loss. I think you are handling it as healthily as possible -- it's OK to be relieved that she isn't suffering anymore. You will miss the person you love, but know she isn't in pain.

    Sometimes we don't feel overwhelming sorry, but a sense of loss when someone passes on. Don't beat yourself up up this...you are doing fine.

  2. creditcardfree Says:

    I think you are handling it fine. Often with much older people, we just know that it was their time to leave this earth and since it meets our expectations of a long life we are not as sad. It's those young and unexpected losses that we find hard to explain.

    ((Hugs))

  3. LuckyRobin Says:

    I think we often feel relief in these situations, because the suffering (whether physical or mental) is finally over. And then we are all confused because we feel like sadness should be the primary emotion and it's just not. I am sorry for your loss. *HUGS*

  4. My English Castle Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss, but I completely understand your emotions. Sometimes people are just ready to go.

  5. Looking Forward Says:

    So sorry for your loss.
    I remember feeling the same way when my grandma passed after battling cancer.
    So whatever you feel is okay.

  6. debtfreeme Says:

    I am so sorry for the loss your family has suffered.

  7. miclason Says:

    so sorry to hear that. Even when we are happy for our loved ones, it{s sometimes difficult to think we wont physically be together... ((hugs))

  8. NJDebbie Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss.((HUGS))

  9. Lisa Says:

    Sorry for your loss Frown. Its always a time a mixed emotions when you lose a loved one.

  10. LittleGopher Says:

    So sorry about your grandma. I too know what you are saying about the flip-flop of emotions...take care.

  11. marvholly Says:

    my condolances. I very much understand your feelings. I am at the same point w/my Dad.

    He has not been a happy camper since my Mom died 7 years ago. His health & ability to do daily living tasks have been declining for several years and now at an accerating rate. Various organ systems are wearing out.

  12. CampFrugal Says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  13. Ima saver Says:

    So sorry, but it was her time to go. (hugs)

  14. baselle Says:

    My condolences. My grandma was 96 when she died. I don't know whether she had a lot of pain or not but she was depressed when my father died ... almost like he was the last friend to go and she was left behind. She mentioned to her pastor that growing old was terrible. Pastor told her, trying bring her spirits up, that the alternative was worse. Grandma shot back, "I wouldn't know, I guess I'm not allowed to try the alternative."

    Take care - your grandma is with her friends.

  15. frugaltexan75 Says:

    I'm sorry for your loss. Frown

  16. Amber Says:

    Having mixed feelings are absolutely okay. I did not shed a tear for my SIL who was like a mother to me until about a month later, it's fine. I am praying for you and your family, and I believe she has found peace. Please accept my condolences

  17. Miz Pat Says:

    I am sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.

  18. patientsaver Says:

    There's no right or wrong way to grieve. Actually, I wish I had your problem. I mostly have fallen apart when my grandparents died, but i was very close to them. I tend to dwell on it and it's really not healthy. If you can keep her in your heart and think about the positives of her life, that's really the best thing you can do.

  19. Apprentice Bliss Hunter Says:

    So sorry for your loss.

  20. Broken Arrow Says:

    My condolences.

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